


Safe.

by MaxTheHeater



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Cuddles, F/F, Kisses, Nightmares, anxious, my queens, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:25:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxTheHeater/pseuds/MaxTheHeater
Summary: “That's the fourth time tonight, El.” She said quietly.“I had to- I just had to make sure.” Ellie mumbled.Dina smiled sadly. “I'm safe Ellie. We both are. You saved us.”





	Safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey losers,
> 
> It's 2019 can you believe it? Fingers and toes crossed for Part II this year, but either way I know the longer it takes the better it'll be. I guess TLOU is like fine wine, the longer it takes, the better it gets. (I'm kidding what do I know about wine?)
> 
> I wrote this for fun, but I kinda dig it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Happy reading, Ya morons!
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She laid awake staring at the ceiling. Trying desperately not to think about her nightmares. It seemed the more she tried to ignore them, the more they kept her awake. She'd already gotten out of bed three times tonight to check, double check, and triple check that all the doors and windows were locked.

Fiddling with the edge of the blankets, She couldn't remember if she'd locked the back door. If anyone wanted to get in then obviously they'd try the back door before breaking in. She quietly slipped off the bed, careful not to wake Dina. She knew that Dina needed the rest more than her anyway. She tiptoed out of the room, avoiding the spots that she knew would make a noise. She glanced over at Joel's rooms. Knowing him, he probably wasn't asleep either. But she'd rather not have him worry about her.

As Ellie approached the bottom of the staircase, she figured it wouldn't hurt to check the front door and windows again. Some part of her was trying to remind her that nothing had broken into Jackson in the past five years she'd been here. But after spending weeks of crawling through forests and murdering her way through Seraphite compounds and always having to keep watch for herself, without even knowing if Dina was even alive the fight or flight mode in her body didn't seem to turn off anymore.

She peeked out the window, all of Jackson was dark and quiet. And safe. She didn't understand why she was still afraid. They'd been back for more than a week. Dina was safe, in fact she was sleeping in Ellie's bed at the moment. Ellie should be happy. She wanted to be happy. She also knew that her carelessness before was what caused Dina to be captured in the first place, she'd never forgive herself for that.

By the time she'd finished checking the back door (which was already locked, seeing as she'd already checked it three times before) it was starting to get a bit brighter out. At least that meant she would have work to do. That was the only thing that could keep her mind off Dina's safety– if only a little.

She crept up the stairs and back to her door. She sighed before she opened it. Hopefully this time she'd actually get some sleep, preferably without the nightmares.

When she finally opened the door she was surprised to see Dina sitting awake on the bed.

She went over wordlessly, wondering how long Dina had been awake. Did she know Ellie had checked every door, window and possible entrance four times now? Sitting down lightly next to her, she got an answer to that question.

“That's the fourth time tonight, El.” She said quietly, as if anything louder than a whisper would break Ellie.

“I had to- I just had to make sure.” Ellie mumbled.

Dina smiled sadly. “I'm safe Ellie. We both are. You saved us.”

“I know, I know”

There was a pause, Ellie almost thought Dina was asleep until she spoke up again.

“I don't blame you, you know. You shouldn't blame yourself either. If anything, we both are at fault.”

She was right, of course. Dina was always right. That didn't make Ellie feel any better about it.

“I could've gotten to you sooner, what if- what if I took one day longer. What if they killed you Di?” Ellie tried to ask it casually, but her voice shook.

Dina shifted beside her to look her in the eyes.

“Is that what you're worried about? What ifs?” She questioned. “I'm _safe_ , El” she repeated, kissing Ellie lightly.

Ellie nodded a few times. She knew they were safe, obviously. They were in Jackson, Jackson was always safe. But she still couldn't stop thinking about their safety, she hated it, but she was afraid.

Dina rubbed Ellie's cheek, surprising Ellie. She hadn't realized she'd been crying. She rubbed her eyes and without opening them she confessed to Dina.

“I have these dreams..” she waited for Dina to laugh at her or to say _everyone has dreams, dumbass._  But she never did. “They aren't always the same. Sometimes they're different. But- I mean, I know it's a dream and all- I just. I don't like seeing you die.” Dina didn't say anything, she let Ellie continue.

“Tonight.. it was right when I got to you, remember? Except- well, I was too late. You- you were bleeding in my arms. And there was nothing- I couldn't save you.” Ellie opened her eyes and was surprised to see Dina looking so exhausted.

“Dina?” She said slowly.

“Oh, Ellie..” she said slowly and hugged her as if letting go would cause her to fall apart.

Dina whispered into Ellie's ear, so quietly that Ellie wasn't even sure she'd heard her.

“What?” Ellie asked.

“I have dreams too, Ellie” Ellie was caught off guard by that. She'd been so worried about herself and her own fears that she didn't even stop to think how Dina must be feeling, she went through it all too. And probably worse than Ellie had.

Ellie was suddenly angry at the people who had kidnapped her in the first place all over again, she felt as if she could go back out there and kill them all, though she'd already made sure there wasn't any of them left alive.

“Why didn't you tell me?” She asked.

Dina chuckled, “same reason you didn't tell me about your dreams.”

_Touché_ , Ellie thought.

They were quiet for a while again, both of them were tired now. Ellie was surprised that she felt a bit better than she had just half an hour ago.

Dina asked quietly, “it won't go away, will it?”

Ellie shook her head, silently vowing to never let Dina get in harm's way again, while she thought of how to answer the question. She was barley better than Joel was at the whole people thing, especially around Dina. She always felt dumb around Dina.

“Joel told me, years ago..” Her eyes unfocused, thinking of the night when she'd told him the real pain of her survivor’s guilt. “He said, it doesn't go away. Ever–”

“Real inspirational” Dina joked.

“I wasn't finished, dumbass.” Her words were harsh but the soft smile on her face told Dina that she didn't mean it.

“Anyway– it won't go away. But it gets easier to deal with.” That was true, when she first arrived at Jackson, and was finally able to think about the traumas that she'd been through, she would cry herself to sleep in Joel's arms. Now, though the thought of Riley still made her sad, she was able to push past it. “I guess.. You just have to find something to fight for.”

Dina chewed on this for a moment, before asking gently “what's yours?”

Ellie's brows furrowed “what do you mean?”

“Your thing to fight for, what is it?”

Ellie had a feeling Dina must already know the answer to this herself, she'd literally trekked through countless states in order to save Dina. Ellie wasn't sure if she would have made it back home if she found out that Dina was killed.

“You.” She said truthfully.

Dina looked her in the eyes, Ellie felt like her brain was being analyzed and Dina was picking out all her deepest secrets and seeing if what Ellie had said was true.

Then she smiled, Ellie was sure she'd never seen anything as beautiful as Dina in the rising sunlight that was starting to shine through the window, casting a new warmth around their little room. Part of Ellie seemed to finally relax.

“You're such a sap” Dina joked, and before Ellie could defend herself, she was kissed and every coherent thought she had left her brain.

The two of them cuddled until sleep finally took hold of them.

“I love you, Dina” Ellie said softly.

“I know.” Came a sleepy reply.

Maybe, just maybe, they were safe after all. She knew that they both wouldn't forget the events of the past few weeks, but Ellie thought that only made them stronger.

And God help whoever tried to mess with them next.

 

 

 

 


End file.
